Cleaning: All talk and No action

Forgive me, _________, for it has been two months since my last confession. Every morning I get up, walk through the house tripping over toys and noticing dust on the stairs. I say to myself. "I think I'll clean the house today." After breakfast and seeing my DH (darling hubby) and the boys off to school I grab my coffee, make the bed and stare into my studio space. And every morning, I think "No. I wont clean today, I'm going to make art." So, it goes. My house remains a mess. The laundry and cooking usually get done and the kitchen and bathroom get cleaned occasionally. The dust bunnies are beginning to run the place tho. If only I could get them to clean the house.

Soon it will have been a year since I obtained some serious chunks of time to devote to thinking about and actually making art again. It started in a fury and the energy was great and large, ideas came in the waking hours and in my sleep. At times it seemed as if my body did not need rest. Then things settled a bit; became more calm. And now, I'm standing on the edge of something but I'm not sure what. Creative block or new direction? I can't tell. Just work through it. That's all I can do.

I fall in love with my new work every time. What a giddy experience. The honeymoon phase. I have to give it time to let the shine wear off so I can actually see it for what it is. And sometimes it is really good and sometimes it is shit. I have to give myself permission to make crap. It's the only thing that can undo that creative block. So, I'm off to make a bunch of crap that sucks! Maybe I'll post some pix.

Oh, and here's my confession: "I am wondering if I use mixed media as a crutch. Even tho I create my own images to appropriate into my paintings and I think mixed media is a valid approach, I am suspicious of this technique. I wonder if I use this because I lack confidence in my painting ability. Drawing certainly comes easier to me. So, for the next few weeks I'm going to try my hand at painting the images I would usually appropriate into my paintings. Perhaps even beyond that I will remove the representational images all together. Let my love of texture take over. Over intellectualizing it? But what else have I to do? Clean? That doesn't sound like much fun.